By Sunday night, after packing and re-packing my race bag several times, I threw myself in bed and fell quickly asleep. But I awoke filled with worries and anxieties by 3:00 a.m. -- pre-race dread, I call it. My mind was telling me all kinds of things I did not want to hear but could not banish from my thoughts-- "You're WUT, you know -- Woefully Under-Trained...you only did two long runs and only one was 19 miles...your mileage was barely over 30 mpw...It's not going to be pretty the last six miles...it's gonna really hurt." Worse of all, had I known I was going to be getting so much attention from my non-running friends because of the Globe article which essentially "outed" me as a veteran marathoner, I would have tried to train more. Yikes. Now everyone expected me to run well and it was way too late to cram the night before the exam. I couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning my way until 5:00 a.m., I was finally in deep sleep when the alarm went off at 6:30. Arrrggghhh. I felt terrible.

Monday morning dawned sunny, clear, sparkling, and not-so-cool. I was puzzled by how warm it felt as we waited to board our plush club bus for the ride to Hopkinton and even more puzzled when we arrived in Hopkinton and I didn't even need to wear my windpants at 9:15, it was that warm. The next two hours were pleasantly spent chatting with runners at the "Hawaii house" near the starting line where a friend opens his office to Hawaii runners as a shelter. I met a 61-year woman and her sister from California who were both running Boston. The 61-year old woman had run a 3:26 at St. George's four years ago and we younger runners were properly awed and inspired. "That is just awesome", I kept repeating. I was hugely impressed.

When we were walking to the corrals under the bright sun, I knew it was probably close to 70 degrees as I was sweating...I was walking inches from a woman in a Dana Farber singlet and thought of Donna Cormier whom I know is running for them and I had promised MJ I would look for her sister. I am about to ask this woman in the Dana Farber singlet if she knows Donna when I look into her face and she *IS* DONNA CORMIER! No kidding. Now, what are the chances of that? We talk for a while and I think this is a good sign, running into Donna like this. I know MJ will get a kick from this story.

It takes those of us in Corral #15 over 12 minutes to get to the starting line but once we get there, we are able to run at a good pace and for maybe the first time ever in my twelve years running Boston, I am able to run the first downhill at the start. It feels great to start running and to feel all the energy around me. I remind myself that this is for fun today, to go out and have a great time, to enjoy running Boston. My work was completed in October when I got my 2004 BQ so this is just gravy--this is my celebration and my gift to myself. My goal is to run as even splits as possible and I want, more than anything, to feel good the last six miles and to run with joy at the end.

During the first few miles I try to get a nice, easy rhythm and to run as I did with Bill Cohen in the Crude run from Hopkinton to Newton four weeks ago, smoothly and not breathing hard at all. It has to feel effortless and it does. A woman on my right says hello to me and it is California Dead runner Maria, whom I met last year! I am so happy to see her and we run together for a while before I remember to slow down and fall back. It is warm and I will need to be cautious if I am going to feel good later.

It entertaining to see so many runners and so many spectators and I am starting to get into a flow of enjoying the movement and amusing myself by all the sights. This is why I love running Boston, I say to myself, and I can feel my heart filling with joy and excitement as we stream towards Framingham and the train station. My friend Margie is there, at 7 miles, on the left hand side, where she has been for all my Bostons and gives me a drink and an opened Vanilla GU. I slow down and thank her, give her a big smile and tell her it is going to be a good day. "It's so hot" she says, "It's OK" I find myself telling her, "I feel great." I am so lucky to have friends who come year after year to support me at the same spot, I think to myself, and I smile.

I can't stop smiling. This is just too much fun, high-fiving the kids and seeing all the enthusiastic crowds. The crowds, drawn like moths to a flame after a long cold winter, are basking in the sun in their summer clothes and in a very good mood. They are yelling and dancing and playing drums and dancing. As I pass ten miles, I figure out my pace and it is about 9:30 per mile. That's good, I think to myself, nice and easy, and it is hot but not unbearable. I drink plenty of water at every stop and thank all the volunteers. I am wearing my Hawaii singlet with the pineapple and my name on it (a Hawaii team decision this year) and not a minute goes by that someone doesn't call my name or say "go Hawaii". I smile and say "thank you" and in this race, I think I talked non-stop, the whole way --thanking people constantly. The miles are going by quickly, almost effortlessly and soon we are nearing twelve miles. I hear my name called on the right and he says, "Connie Chan, you are a star", and I think, who is that? It is NE Dead Sam Levitan up on a hill sitting, smiling. "SAM!" I yell and give him a big smile and wave. I love dead runner support.

Wellesley College is my favorite part of the course, hands down, and this year does not disappoint. I love to run on the right side and slap every hand. This year I am screaming right along with the girls as I run down that fabulous, energized stretched and it is a real high. Then the downhills begin and I am feeling good so I stretch my legs out a bit and take easy strides down towards Newton Lower Falls. The miles have been passing quickly but now I notice a strong head wind as the flags are facing towards us and it is cooler. At first the breeze feels good and then I start to feel a little too cold on my arms. I am going to have to get something to wear if I can.

I hang on through the stretch closing in on the Newton Fire station and am happy to make the turn up the Newton hills. I like this part of the course --it feels like home and the crowds are thick. I am feeling a little cold but my legs are strong so I run steadily up the hills. I think it is around here that I see Richard and Ann Ferguson running together and I run over to them to say hello, how are you. Richard says he is struggling a bit today, so I tell him to hang tough and smile to Ann. I know how he feels, as I have been there before. I wince at the remembrance of Bostons past when I hit these hills and my legs were like lead and my body was shutting down.

Then I hear my name and I see NE Dead ROZ on the left! "Hey, ROZ!" I yell and wave. She waves back, I see her two adorable kids in the stroller and it makes me happy to see them. I say, "I feel great", and I do.

I head towards mile 19 and Newton City Hall, I am smiling, because I feel fine. In fact, I feel better than earlier and I am beginning to surge a little, playing with the crowds and my pace a bit. I know that my running club, CSU, will be at 18.6 and I might be able to get a t-shirt from them. My arms are cold and I have goose bumps. When I see the club members, I yell to my friend Glenn for a long-sleeved shirt and he tells me to keep going, he will find me. I continue to run and in a few minutes he is alongside me with a shirt. "It's cotton," he says, and I wonder why he is telling me that? "How do you feel?" "Great!" I yell, and he says, "You are awesome...everyone else is dying and you are full of energy." "I am", I tell him and he laughs. "You are a crazy woman", he yells.

I like that, being a crazy woman. My legs are starting to get just a little tired now but I still feel good so I figure that once I crest Heartbreak Hill I can relax and stretch it out some more. I focus on running smoothly and breathing evenly and this year, Heartbreak Hill is long, but soon I am over and I am cruising down past Boston College with the kids screaming and yelling on the right and I have fun with them. I am passing lots of people who are walking now but I am still feeling strong and running steadily as we make the left turn onto Beacon Street.

I enjoy this part of the course because I used to train on it when I lived in Brookline so I take in the sights and high-five everyone in sight. The crowd seems to like it that I am running with a smile and such enthusiasm and I get even more pumped up. At mile 24, I see my good friend Kate who waits for me every year and we yell, both happy to see each other. This was just too much fun, I think, as I head up mile 25 and look for Doug Dodds on the left. There he is, and I yell, "Hi Doug" and he smiles and I wave happily. Then we turn onto the last mile at Kenmore Square and I am full once again with the excitement of the race. I run and wave to everyone and have a blast, trying to savor this last mile.

When we turn onto Boylston Street and the final stretch towards the huge finish banner, my heart is full and my body is doing a happy dance. This was a glorious day for running, a dance of pure joy and fun, and I felt like I was soaring as I went over the finish line. I ran almost even splits -- 2:05, 2:07 for 4:12, but the time didn't tell the story today...my smile did, and so did my spirits...what a fun weekend it was, this Boston marathon.

Thanks, DRS, for all the support, friendship, and good cheer.

-Connie Chan, still feeling good, in chilly Boston, Massachusetts

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